How I got fired and why I hated corporate

I started working at Accenture in September 2020. Like most consulting firms at the time, the one I started at had very abnormal projects because the pandemic was limiting demand.

I won’t go into specific details of the project I was staffed on or who our client was. I don’t want to violate any confidentiality agreements. Instead, I’ll share the “skills” I built on the project and how the project made me (and many of my peers) feel.

Imagine this:

You are supposed to be a “strategy consultant”. You still don’t even know what that means besides making pretty slides and excel sheets. But you definitely never thought you’d be gaining skills as a call center agent. Much less getting cursed at and cried to, daily.

The first few weeks you just think about the checks. “Fuck it, I’ll be off this project in a few months. Not what I thought I’d be doing, but this is OD money for this type of work”.

That sounds good. But then you answer calls all day. Every day somebody on the other end is cursing at you while you’re doing the best you can. You can’t even be upset because you know they’re in a really, really tough situation. Then you get somebody that's crying to you. Telling you they’re in the position they’re in because of you. And again, you’re just doing the best you can. A month in that starts to get a little heavy.

The whole time you know your job is useless. There’s nothing you can do to help the people calling. You’re on the phone so the firm you work at can charge the client they’re servicing a massive bag.

And if that wasn’t the shittiest job you’ve ever had, they made sure to level up. Tracked bathroom breaks. One min downtime between each call so you’re always on. A quality assurance team listening to and grading your calls. Marking you down for telling callers how to get real help.

Now throw in that management said you’d roll off the project in December. But then they updated that. Now it says March. But they didn’t even address that. The group chat is going crazy. You and all your coworkers are pissed. And when they schedule a town hall to address the frustrations—they gaslight. You and all your peers are “remembering wrong”. Why would you ever have thought you’d roll off in December.

Now you’re on month 2. It’s starting to wear on you. You’re getting less social. Your whole personality is complaining about that bumass job.

You think a change of scenery will help so you head out west, working remote from Austin and then LA and San Diego. It helps, but only a little. Going out on West 6th makes you forget that 6th person that cursed at you that day. And you can’t curse back. The sun is solace after your coworker calls you crying, telling you they were having panic attacks because of the job. A few joints help too. The beach after work calms you down when you’re fed up. But fuck it, moments like this is why you work. Right?

But then you go home. December in Jersey. It’s cold outside. Covid is going crazy. Everybody is inside. You’re 3 months in now. It’s getting heavy. You’re not talking to anybody. And if you are, you have nothing to say except complaints.

The days are getting repetitive. Roll out of bed and open the laptop. Get verbally abused until lunchtime. Quick lunch. Get back on the laptop, your manager will let you know about it if you're late. Sign off for the day. It’s already dark outside. Roll up in your room then go for a “walk”. Your mom didn’t even know you smoked, you used to be discreet. But at this point, you're starting to feel a little depressed so you don’t even care about that.

Then one day you’re laying in bed to go to sleep. In the same room that you log in to that bumass job. Alll you can think about is the fact you have to open that laptop again. Laying in bed, you start to dread it. That call ring on the laptop. That Teams message from your bumass manager.

Then it breaks you. You’re in bed and you feel like you can’t breathe. You lay there trying to get a deep breath. An hour passes and you know you’re tweaking. You would’ve passed out a long time ago if you weren’t breathing, so what’s going on?

You go downstairs and wake your mom up. She can’t help you. You don’t sleep much that night. The next day you go to the doctor. You still feel like you can’t breathe. The doctor tells you you’re having a panic attack.

You tell your job and they let you use some of your PTO days to get right. How generous. Days go by and the only time you feel like you can breathe is after you get some weed smoke in your lungs. Counterintuitive huh?

You tell your job what’s going on and they make accommodations to get you off that project. Your friends are venting in the group chat and you feel for them. But you’re off now.

Then you hop on the phone with your career counselor. You tell her about what’s been going on and she starts telling you to join a ton of +1s (think free work on company initiatives). You tell her that’s the last thing on your mind. You’ve been having panic attacks.

Then she tells you, “That’s normal here! Everybody's stressed, just ask your doctor about Xanax.”

Wish I made that shit up.

This was the beginning of my corporate “career”. To say I hated Accenture would be an understatement.

After about a week the panic attack I had subsided and day by day of not taking verbal abuse I started to feel better.

Looking back, I’m so thankful for that experience. It taught me to take a step back. That job was never that important, yet I let it drive me to the lowest point I’ve ever experienced. And for what?

So I told myself then, I’m going to choose me. Every. Single. Time.

Now if I was really about it, I would’ve quit right then. But my signing bonus didn’t lock until August 2021. The golden handcuffs. So I thought to myself, “fuck it, I’ll just get to August and then quit.”

And from here it could only get better, right? Eh, kinda.

After getting rolled off that last project, I was placed on one more like what I thought I’d be doing. Useless PowerPoint slides and excel sheets :).

During my first 2 weeks on that project, I got a taste of “consulting hours”. 9 - 10. AM - PM. Wake up - sleep.

I was tired.

But this was still way better than the emotional abuse of my last project. This was normal shitty.

Plus, when I got the job offer they said all analysts (initial position) were entitled to overtime. Then the official job offer documents said that the salary was based on 40 hours per week and that we would receive overtime past that. Then they invited us to a celebration day in Atlanta, where partners at the firm told us that to prevent burnout, they took giving analysts overtime pay very seriously. Then in orientation, the HR people said…. my bad I probably sound like a broken record. You get the point.

So two weeks into this project, working close to 55 hours per week, I put in a timesheet. With overtime.

As soon as my manager received it, she messaged me asking if I could remove the OT.

“Why? Those are the hours I worked. You sent me work until around 10 everyday the last 2 weeks”.

“Usually analysts just want to ‘help the team out’. It really helps with budgeting when analysts help out and don’t charge overtime”.

LOL.

Now, as you’ll remember, I decided I was going to choose me.

So when my manager told me that bullshit, I let her know that I’d be logging off at 5 every day. Respectfully of course.

She didn’t take that well. That following Monday she sent me a meeting invite. It was titled, “Expectations”.

I was READY.

“Hi, redacted I’m so glad you set this call up. It’s great to get on the same page about expectations. I think the most efficient way to do this is to share mine, you can share yours, and we can discuss. First, I expect to work 40 hours a week and receive overtime if I work more. I expect that if you send me work to be done after 5 pm you also send me why the work is so critical that it can’t be done tomorrow. I want to do a great job during my allotted hours, but I’m not going to work for free.”

She looked at me like I was speaking a different language.

“Chris, I don’t know what to say. I’m very surprised. That’s just how this industry works. You had to have known you’d be working long hours right?”

“Of course, but I take people at their word. I heard that I’d be entitled to overtime through every step of the hiring process. Why would I expect otherwise?”

From there we had more dialogue about the subject, but neither of us was going to come off our point. The conversation pivoted.

I asked her if she would recommend the job to her best friend. The summary of a long winded answer—she wouldn’t.

She asked me what my goals were at the firm. Was I gunning for managing director? Did I just want to reach senior consultant (~3-4 years) and find exit opportunities?

“I just want to lock in my signing bonus, I’d be shocked if I still worked here next year. I hate Accenture”.

Now she really thought I was a nut. Maybe I was. But this conversation was exactly what I needed. Catharsis.

That and there was just no way I was going to spend my evenings changing the shade of purple on some slides for free.

From there the working relationship was smooth. My manager respected the boundaries I set and I did the best work I could during the working day. Normal job vibes. Once, at the end of the day on a Friday, she asked if I could help the team out. A senior executive had just asked for a brand new slide deck by the next day. It was a “sprint”.

“I’ll see you at the finish line”. That was the last time she asked me for help.

From there I had very minimal problems with work. Just normal job policy shit that sucks. Like getting a concussion outside work and going negative on PTO because my job just had a general PTO bank for vacation, sick, or whatever days.

Time passed.

After that, I did a project that I actually loved. I was working with incredible people, the best manager I’ve ever had, and a non-profit that felt very fulfilling to work with. I made friends on that project that I still keep in touch with.

But it was still a countdown to that signing bonus locking. I still hated Accenture.

So in August when I rolled off that project I loved, I was relieved. I made it. Signing bonus locked. I could quit now. But before I did, I figured I deserved a little compensation.

In consulting, when you’re not on a project, you’re on what’s called “the bench”. When you’re on the bench it is your responsibility to find a new project to join. You need to reach out to managers, interview for the roles, it almost feels like a light recruiting process for a new job. Typically, analysts try to spend as little time as humanly possible on the bench. They reach out to managers before rolling off their last project. Line things up so there’s not a day of down time.

But I had a different idea.

What would happen if I didn’t reach out. How long could I be on the bench?

So I experimented. For nearly 2 months almost nobody even reached out to me. In October, my HR lead said I really needed to get on a project and I got lucky in finding a short term (4 week) project that wasn’t very demanding. And when I say wasn’t very demanding, I mean I basically didn’t do shit.

I rolled off that just before Thanksgiving, and with the holiday season slowdown, there weren't any projects reaching out until the new year. From there I got surgical.

Every project that reached out, I explained that I didn’t have the skills they were looking for. I wasn’t lying. But usually people just go with it and learn the skills later. By being honest I made myself un-staffable.

Some projects would say they didn’t require any skills. They’d ask if I was interested. I’d let them know I wasn’t. Again, my honesty made me un-staffable. I never declined a role outright. I didn’t have to.

And the best part, when you’re on the bench you get your full pay.

Months went by. In January, I moved to LA and used the extra time to do yoga every day, go on a ton of hikes, and enjoy the sun on my skin.

I was thriving.

By March I was shocked I hadn’t been fired yet. The heat started to turn up though. Between HR and attention from my career counselor (not the one that told me to take xanax, this one was a great guy) it became increasingly difficult to skate by under the radar.

Finally, in mid April of 2022 I saw a call on my calendar from Accenture leadership.

“Your performance has been subpar and as good stewards of this company we need to let you go. Do you have any questions?”

“Nah, have a great day”.

“LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”

I had the goofiest grin. I was celebrating like I won the lottery.

Dropping the laptop at the office in Cali felt incredible. It felt like closing a chapter.

My short stint in corporate America had come to an end. And now, nearly a year out, I can’t even imagine going back.

The takeaway:

I’m not telling this story to shit on Accenture. I was very hesitant to put it up. But, I wanted to share it because I hear a lot of people complain constantly about their jobs. And just like I did for the first few months of my employment, they just take it. They let it wear on them and don’t switch anything up.

I hope this story is a wake up. Saying some uncomfortable shit back to your boss might slow that “corporate climb”, but might do a ton for your peace of mind.

It might return some of your time and give you a feeling of control over your own life.

I know too many people that take the corporate shit too seriously. It’s never that serious.

You’re that serious. Act like it.

And that doesn’t mean quit your job right now. It means if you’re not happy and you know the reason you’re not happy, change something. There’s always gonna be more jobs, but you’re not gonna get this time back. It’s limited.

Choose you.

Side note:

I don’t regret working at Accenture. All the experiences we go through make us who we are. I had a particularly bad time there because of some bad timing with the pandemic and the mindsets of some people I met. As a company with half a million people, there are tons of great people there as well.

I understand that Accenture is a massive business and that the projects they took on during COVID helped them maintain the headcount that they had. Without those projects they likely would have had layoffs.

The goals of businesses are to make money and Accenture is objectively elite in that regard. They are a machine, built to squeeze as much as they can out of people. They also have to compete with other companies for great talent so it makes sense that they would tell prospective hires that overtime is guaranteed without meaning it. As one executive I spoke with at Accenture put it, “You had to know that was just lip service.”

If I have a regret it’s that I behaved like a victim. Jobs are transactional. They owed me nothing and I owed myself more respect. Complaints without action or change are goofy.